A Little For Herself

Before I started my first full-time job,

my grandmother sat me down 

at her kitchen table and said:

“Every pay period,

take a little of your money

and put it aside

for your self;

even if it’s just 

$10, buy something:

a pair a pantyhose

a cupcake

a new fascinator.

Women,” she said,

“need to take a little

for themselves.”

My grandmother never went to college

but could crunch numbers

with ease, could solve word problems

like she was reciting the Lord’s Prayer

each night before bed.

She couldn’t own her own company

but knew the business 

of being a woman--

she raised girls into ladies, 

ironed shirts for her husband,

volunteered at church, 

hand-washed delicates, 

polished silverware 

that was already shining 

and somehow always

stepped out with nails polished 

and a new hat

tipped to the side.

My grandmother passed down 

the value of making herself count. 

I see it in my mother

who figured out her passions—

nutrition and leopard-print shoes!

She went to work every day

helping new mothers 

learn how to nurse their babies

then came home 

and cooked us food 

out of love. But my mother 

would always find time

to slip away 

and shop for that new pair

of glitter flats. Yes, my mother

put herself on her “to-do” list.

So, my sisters and I have grown 

to know that a woman 

is her first employee. 

She must always 

pay herself back,

for her sweat

tears

and everything she carried 

on her back

and the lack of recognition. 

She may need to take a nap

give herself a hug

write herself a poem

figure out what she needs to do

next, after all those months and years

she helped out and held it down

for everybody else.

My grandmother knew

that in order to survive

to clean

to cook

to read

to mother

to wife

to heal

to think

to breathe

a woman 

must take a little 

for herself.